Sincerely Unwanted

 Dear Mary Lou,

There you were, the child I never wanted. A face that only conveys pain and sadness to me. I was devastated. Because of your very existence, I loss my one true love. Her sparkling eyes gone, and her tender touch just a mere idea in my head. 

I only have you, though. What was dearest to her. Her beauty is a washing for your face. You stole her deep brown eyes, and that ever so wide smile. Your voice is remarkably similar to hers, once used for singing and giving joyous laughter. However all you would do is sob and scream. Why? Did you want me to feel guilt for my loss?

I never wanted to have children. Though she did. She yearned for the chance to be your mother and to look after you. She would rant about her fear of failing at the thing she wanted to do most in her life. However you never graced her with the opportunity. 

She seemed genuinely delighted to eventually meet you. She purchased the most opulent presents, which were waiting for you in your nursery long before you started to kick. She'd write letters , ones she'd hope to read to you for your birthday each year. I thought it was cheesy. But she found joy in it so I tried my best to do so too. If only it wasn't one of the last things she wished of me to do for her, I would have burnt them before the regret set in. But ironically- here is my letter to you. 

You chose to subject me to this cruel punishment, of being your father. And in that moment, when you entered this world and forced her to leave, I wished that I had left with her.

Yours "truly",

Ted